Thoughts 1巻

I often couldn't sleep during the nights before, even though I was very sleepy and exhausted. I just had so many things to do that I felt restless. So i would get up during the night and just compose a poem, draw, exercise or study. Most of the time it would be writing and drawing though. 

Believe it or not, it feels so easy for me to do it. I don't know how good I am at doing it, but I love doing it. I think it's just who I am. 

I used to love reading poetry from Bulgarian authors of the 19th and early 20th century back in high school. I admired their courage, the way that they handled life and expressed their feelings towards the world. Most of them were not just simply poets - they were rebels, who fought battles and died in wars. Maybe that inspired me to compose more and certainly gave me an image of the man I want to be one day. 

I don't know how realistic that image is and I don't know if I will ever achieve everything I've set to be, as a man and as a person. I don't even know how long it will take. Perhaps forever. 

Every time I feel that I am at my limits of doing something, every time that I feel there's nothing more I could do in a given situation, I always find another reason to try again. And by doing that I find out that I haven't reached my limits yet. And the feeling? It's incredible. 

I'm not sure how to describe it exactly. It's like you thought that something would be impossible, but it turned out possible and you made it. In a way, it's like being reborn.

Does this make sense to you? It doesn't matter actually.  

I feel like sharing so much, because it has always helped me to get to know myself better. 

Now it's time to hit the books again and study. Thursday will be a big day. I have 3 exams with a break between the 2nd and 3rd and then I have work at Botanik from 20:00 till the end. 

Today when I was working, a friend of mine randomly visited me. I was happy to see her. My friends are great!